What Matters Most: Love, not Things
Hello Everyone, and welcome to the end of 2021!
It’s Holiday Season. That means something different to everyone. Whatever that means to you, one thing’s guaranteed: this time of the year brings up different challenges than any other time of year.
Some of you are pushing to meet business milestones before the end of the year, others are hard at work making goals and plans for the next year.
Some of you are overwhelmed with adding all of the holiday tasks onto an already full schedule, while others are feeling lonely and isolated.
This year, in particular, marks the second year of a pandemic which has caused financial hardships for many, social hardships for most, and psychological hardships for some.
Many of the topics of concern and conversation, these days, bring us into new and unfamiliar territory, and while these topics are polarizing in the world around us, for most people, this time of the year is a time to draw near to family and loved ones, despite our differences.
Are you packing an extra suitcase of worry and anxiety this year? Or, maybe you can’t afford to travel, or shower the people around you with gifts, because of job loss, or lean sales. And, then there are quarantines, social distancing, and concern about the health and wellness of yourself and those you care about.
Overall, it seems as though gifts and get-togethers are on the lean side, for the second consecutive year.
This time of the year has never been without unique challenges, but now more than ever, there’s a lot to navigate.
So, how will you cope with your unique challenges this season?
The key is to focus on what matters most, and let go of the things you can’t change.
Focus on love, not things.
Do you have anxiety about your family get-togethers? Is there a strained relationship you’d prefer not to deal with? You may be feeling dread at the prospect of dealing with those unwanted, unhelpful remarks from your mother-in-law, or the snide comments from that distant uncle. Or, maybe something much closer to home and heart.
But, here’s the interesting question: Are you dreading their comments, or your reactions? The good news is, you are in control of your reactions. It’s not actually their behaviors that you’re reacting to, it’s your thoughts and feelings about their behaviors that trigger your reactions. Your feelings are coming from the way you’re thinking about them, and what you’re making their behaviors mean to you. You have total control over what you think, despite the circumstances. And, while their behavior is a reflection of them, it’s your thoughts and your reactions that are the reflection of you.
Focus on love, not things.
Focus on love, not things people say. Unconditional love is simply accepting someone for who they are and how they are. It’s just letting them be their unique self, without judgment or agenda. Unconditional love always feels amazing to you. It’s like a gift you’re giving to yourself, because you’re the one that gets to feel it.
When you love others unconditionally, you drop your personal expectations for them to behave the way you want, to make you feel better, because, you have the power, through your own thoughts and belief systems, to feel any way you want.
When your emotions are attached to someone else’s behavior, you have given them all of your power.
Embrace others on their terms, and consider alternative ways of thinking about them and their behaviors. Our thoughts are our choices. Every time we choose to be disappointed, annoyed, or angry at someone, we are causing our own negative emotions. There’s always another way to think about things. When we choose negativity, it doesn’t feel good to us, and the other person is completely unaffected by what we choose to think and to feel.
Alternatively, when we choose love, this also dictates how we feel, not how they feel. When you are feeling compassion instead of annoyance, you will react differently toward someone, you will get different results, and you’ll feel differently.
The moment you realize that your feelings are caused by what you are thinking, you discover the real power: your thoughts.
Just by changing your mindset about people, and allowing them to be who they uniquely are, you can alleviate the tension you may be dreading, and enhance your experience of gathering together this season.
Giving gifts is one way we show love and appreciation in today’s society. But, it’s not actually the thing — the gift — that makes someone feel loved. It’s what they are thinking, and how they are interpreting the fact that you gave them a gift. It’s their thoughts about it, and what they make it mean to them, that gives them the feeling of being loved. With that said, you could give anything, even just your words or time — especially your words and time! — to show your love for someone. It’s not about things; it’s always about feelings. For most people, the heart-felt visit is more meaningful and more memorable than the expensive gift card.
Focus on love, Focus on compassion, Focus on expression, not things. If you do, you’ll be defining how you will experience the holidays, and it will feel amazing.
Many people will find themselves isolated, gathering in smaller groups, or not making the trip to wherever “home for the holidays” usually is, this year. There’s so much technology for human connection, these days, and almost everyone has an app, or can get one easily. If you or a loved one is struggling with isolation, this holiday season, leverage technology! And, help others who are less tech-savvy to do the same.
Dont let your holidays be less because of these unique hardships and struggles, let them be different.
Embrace the uniqueness of this time, and show others unconditional love through unconventional means.
It’s been an unconventional year, so express and experience unconventional, unconditional love.